As women, I think we can all agree that we’ve met men that just seem to naturally know how to make conversation. They have the ability to converse with anyone on any topic in a way that puts them at ease instantly. The masters of conversation may make even a total stranger feel as though he has known the person for years.
Even if you were born without a naturally gifted gift for communication, you can still learn to speak in ways that make you an interesting and engaging conversationalist, an asset at work social events, a hit with the women, and a friend to many. Let’ begin with our and Greenopolis tips:
Spend more time listening than talking:
Surprisingly, the most important part of the skill of conversation is not speaking at all but listening to the other person. Avoid conversational narcissism. Engage the people you are conversing with by asking them thought-provoking and thought-provoking questions. People have a strong need to constantly talk about themselves.
Don’t just ask someone what they do for a living and leave it at that. Ask them what the most challenging aspect of their job is and what they think the future holds for their field. After then, ask follow-up questions to get additional information and specifics. Show that you are engaged in what is being said by concentrating on the person who is speaking, nodding your head, and using expressions such as “hmmm” and “uh-huh” at the proper times.
Attend a gathering prepared with things that you want to discuss in your back pocket:
When I’m on my way to a dinner or a party, I often think about the individuals I’ll be meeting that evening and come up with questions and anecdotes that I want to ask or share with them. “George will be interested in learning about the progress that has been made on the woodshed. I will inquire about Grace’s recent trip to Minnesota to visit her family, and I will also find out what Tyler liked of the book he recently finished reading.
If you are not familiar with the individuals with whom you will be speaking, you should give some thought to the topics that are likely to be of interest to the people you will meet. Inquire with them about the peculiar features of their area (“I came across an intriguing statue on the road leading into town.
Ask those who know the others better for some background information, read up on the company they work for (“I heard you will be expanding into China soon; when will that be happening?”), and read up on the company they work for (“I heard you will be expanding into China soon; when will that be happening?”).
Make the discourse relevant to the person who is listening:
It’s simple to say, “Don’t talk about politics, sex, or religion,” and everyone will understand. And always err on the side of caution. However, a much more effective rule is to simply adapt the topics of conversation to the people with whom you are having the conversation. When you’re just getting to know someone, it can be embarrassing to broach topics like politics, religion, and sex.
On the other hand, having a heated debate with the same friends you’ve been having for the past ten years at your regular poker night can be the highlight of your week. When you’re in a room with a mix of people, talking about motorbikes will likely tyre roughly half of those present, but when you’re with your riding crew, not discussing them would be unfathomable.
Wait for or take your turn:
A discussion is a collaborative effort, with each participant contributing their own little tidbit here and there. There is no time for monologues at this moment. If you have been talking for several minutes without receiving any questions, remarks, or other general signs of life from other individuals in the room, then it is likely that you are taking up all of the oxygen in the space. Cede the floor to someone else.
Take some time to think before you speak:
The majority of embarrassing slips of the tongue are caused by a failure to consider carefully before speaking. You launch into a tirade about the war, and then you recall that your friend’s boyfriend has just arrived home from Iraq. Do not make statements that are loaded with value judgements if you want to avoid causing offence. For instance, rather than stating “The town manager sure is a stupid, huh? “, you may say “The town manager sure is an idiot.” Pose the question, “What are your thoughts on the town manager proposal to rebuild?”